Hail to the Chia!

I'm so confused. I don't know how to feel about the new Obama Chia Pet. Is this is patriotic, racist, awesome or just stupid? I guess I'll have to buy 38 of them and figure it out for myself.

Drunk teacher dances for students

A teacher in Florida showed up to her middle school classroom drunk off her ass. Unfortunately, it was the not-so-hot teacher on the left. She "grinded" against the students, pulled down her pants and was later found passed out at the local pool. Students were told by administrators to delete videos on their phones of the event. Luckily, they didn't:

PETA kills animals too? There's no hope for fluffy.

WTF! A report was just released that claims PETA has killed 95% of the animals in their care that were eligible for adoption. According to the Virginia Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services, PETA killed 2,124 pets last year and placed only seven in adoptive homes.

Apparently,PETA's too busy throwing blood at Olsen twins to help find homes for fluffy.

Legless Rapper

This is Half Price, the legless rapper. He's kid of like Kid Rock. If Kid Rock wasn't a very good rapper and had no legs.

**Over 18 only - The video contains lots of F-words, drug use and legless dancing. Don't watch it at work (or watch it at work with the sound down).**

Video of the week

It's only Monday, but this is the video of the week for sure:

Madonna without Photoshop is scary

This is supposedly a before-and-after of a recent Madonna photo shoot. The photo on the right is what happens when someone sits down with a picture of a wrinkly old lady and uses Photoshop to smooth out all of the lines. The photo on the left is a wrinkly old lady:

Another hero falls: ShamWow guy.

Did you know that the ShamWow guy's real name is Vince Shlomi? Well, when Vince isn't selling super-absorbant towels, he enjoys a good hooker. Unfortunately, he picked the wrong prostitute. According to the police report, the hooker bit down on Vince's tongue and wouldn't let go, so he punched her several times (using moves he probably perfected while demonstrating the "Slap Chop"). Eventually his tongue was released, but he was left bloody and bruised. Good thing those ShamWows can clean up any liquid!

Here's the full story from the Smoking Gun.

And for your viewing pleasure, the ShamWow informercial in Espanol. How do you say "These things don't really absorb 2 liters of soda, I want my money back!" in Spanish?:

Top 5 moments on "The Price Is Right"

Here's someone's collection of the top 5 moments from "The Price Is Right" Strangely, they left out the most talked about moment in TPIR history when a woman's boobs fly out as she "comes on down". It's a pretty good collection of videos anyway... and makes me hate Drew Carey even more.

Fatty-Fat Friday!

Girl faints during live TV interview

Wait for it... the girl being interviewed about a vollyball tournament faints mid-sentence. Kudos to her, though, for continuing to talk while on her way down!

Open wide!

"Three Stooges" movie announced!

The Farrelly brothers have announced the tentative cast for "The Three Stooges." Sean Penn is set to play Larry, and Jim Carrey is in negotiations to play Curly. Benicio del Toro is rumored to play Moe. What, no Shemp or Curly Joe?

Full story

Squirrel Threesome

It's not in HD, as the title suggests. But it's still hot squirrel on squirrel on squirrel action as promised!

Where The Wild Things Are movie trailer

The trailer was just released for Spike Jonze's adaptation of "Where The Wild Things Are". Looks like they're saving serious money on CGI by putting some dude in a big furry costume.

Lost: The sugar cube of truth!

I guess Ben really knew what he was talking about when he told Sayid that he was born to be a killer.

Here's some random thoughts from last night's episode:

1 - Little kid Ben is not dead. Either Jin wakes up and brings him back to camp where Jack saves his life (blowing their cover and moving the story along) OR Richard Alpert comes along and works some magic on him OR he just magically heals like Locke did when he was shot by Ben. As per the "rules" of time travel that were laid out by Faraday (and the producers over and over again) the future cannot be changed. Ben is alive in the future, so he can't be dead in the past.

2 - I think Ben had to be shot. Remember, the past can't be changed, so everything that happens is supposed to happen. The island wouldn't have allowed Sayid to shoot Ben if it wasn't supposed to already happen. This shooting could explain how Ben becomes the leader of the Others. Locke was told that he had to kill his father and then die and ressurect in order to return to the island. We know that Ben also must kill his father, and perhaps being shot and rising from the dead is what makes him one with the islanders.

3 - Those Dharma people are adorable. Just when you think they're gonna cut off Sayid's fingers, they gently remove his restraints. And when you expect the creepy dude in the tent (one of the "Darryls" from Newhart!) to shove bamboo stakes under Sayid's fingernails they give him the sugar cube of truth. I wonder how they were planning on killing him - tickling him to death?

4 - The list. Remember the list of "special" people that Ben sent Michael to bring to the Other's camp at the end of season 2? It was Kate, Sawyer, Jack and Hurley. Are they special because they were the only ones on the second plane that were flashed back in time? Yes, there's also Jin and Sayid... but Ben probably knows that Jin doesn't speak english yet and that Sayid would follow along anyway (which he did). Could these people have been chosen because they were the ones that Ben "remembers" from the 70's?

5 - Lafleur and Juliette. Come one, do you really expect to live together forever in harmony at Dharmaville? You KNOW everyone dies in the purge. Suck it up and get with the program!

6 - "A 12 year old Ben Linus brought me a chicken salad sandwich, how do you think I'm doing?"

That is all for now... let's continue the discussion in the comments section below.

Listener Submission: Cigarette Mash

Hey Boris I heard you talking about the old Cigarette Mash commercial that ran back in the 80's. I found the commercial in this video of a commercial break from WPIX in New York. I bet you were watching this when it was live just like I was eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Thanks for the great show every morning!
Carlos

(NOTE - The Cigarette Mash starts at 1:04)

Kid draws obscene picture on his parents' roof

A kid got busted for drawing something on the roof of his parents' Million Dollar home. He was caught when a helicoptor kept hovering so it could get some photos.

Click here to see what was on the roof

Kid harpist plays Star Wars cantina theme

As we found out on Flight Of The Conchords this weekend, playing the harp CAN be manly. It can also be AWESOME if you're playing the Mos Eisley Cantina theme from Star Wars!

E.T. found in Berkeley Heights

Here's another find from Google Maps street view. This time, it's E.T. the Extra Terrestrial. Someone spotted this strange beam of light and what looks like E.T. sitting in a field next to it. I don't know who these people are who scour Google Maps finding drunks, dead deer and aliens. All I've ever found on street view was a huge truck blocking the bar I was trying to get directions to in NYC.

Link to the E.T. story

Aftermath of the Lance Armstrong bike crash

We talked yesterday about the bike crash that caused Lance Armstrong to break his collar bone. Check out this video of the aftermath. There are mangled bikes and wounded cyclists everywhere!

Unfortunate typo

Product of the week: Poo Trap

Tired of picking up after your dog? How about attaching a harness to his body with a bag over his rectum to collect his poop in a bag that he can wear until you get home and then unattach from his body? That sounds much better! Check out The Poo Trap and find out more.

Jessica Biel making love to a potato chip

Enjoy:

Video of the day: Girl hits bird and freaks out!

Yes, it's very sad when someone hits a bird with their car. But this girl needs to chill!

Ashton Kutcher Tweets Demi's Ass

Ashton Kutcher is always on Twitter. Usually his Tweets are about as lame as mine are. But this weekend, he decided to post photos of his wife's ass... His wife, Demi Moore's ass. I wonder if it's just a coincidence that Bruce Willis was getting married to some young hottie on the same day? Perhaps Ashton was trying to make his elderly wife feel youthful again:

watching my wife steam my suit while wearing a bikini. I love God!
9:43 AM Mar 21st from TweetDeck

I'm not wearing the bikini she is that's what makes it so glorious
9:46 AM Mar 21st from TweetDeck

shhh don't tell wifey http://twitpic.com/2bj58
10:11 AM Mar 21st from TweetDeck

Here are the photos he posted:

Google Maps takes down photo of drunk Brits

Google Maps street view captured this drunk dude from the UK throwing up on the street. The best part is that he's being consoled by some other bald drunk dude wearing antlers. Sadly, the photo was removed from the site, but you can see it here:

Don't open the door, Mom, I'm "Stuffing A Bear"!

This guy goes to one of those Build A Bear places and stuffs a bear on live TV. His technique, however, is a little too good... Watch for the hosts' reaction.

Broadcasting from the Orange County Choppers studio

You may have noticed that WRRV is now broadcasting from the Orange County Choppers studio. We've partnered with the guys at O.C.C. on a bunch of events, and are proud to have them sponsor our studio in honor of their 10th anniversary. Paul Sr. was cool enough to drop by and check out the studio a couple of weeks ago.

Audio from Paul Senior's visit is below:

Fatty-Fat Friday!

My latest obsession: Muggn

Visit Muggn and you'll see some of the greatest mug shots ever taken. Just when you think you've seen the strangest hair or sweetest smile along comes a guy with a moustache on his head that forces you to click "next page" and look some more. Awesome!

Link

Underwater Volcano

This is video from Tonga of an underwater volcano erupting. It reminds me of that video of Ricki Lake giving birth under water.

Charles Manson's makeover

Remember how scary Charles Manson used to look with that crazy long hair and scraggly beard? This newly released photo of Grandpa Manson doesn't look scary at all. Come on, who wouldn't invite this sweet old man over to their house for dinner?
Awww look, old man Manson is stabbing the cat, isn't that cute?

Unfortunate Puzzle

This is one of those Wheel Of Fortune "Before And After" puzzles. Yeah, I get it... but still.

Obama's NCAA bracket

It's neat having a cool president. Obama has officially released his NCAA Tournament bracket. We both picked North Carolina to go all the way. Maybe if N.C. wins this will be a good sign that Obama's other predictions about what to do for the economy will also come true. Go Tar Heels!

Lost: Creepy kid Ben is back

After shaking uncontrollably for 2 weeks, I finally got my Lost fix last night. Let's jump right into it:

Kudos and fish biscuits to everyone who thought that Horace and Amy's baby was Ethan. Juliette's reaction was great when she found out. "OK, I'm holding baby Ethan now, this is creepy, down you go!"

Jack, Hurley and Kate are safe... for now. That nosy Dharma check-in guy has his eye on Jack and knows something is up. Hopefully the level-headed Sawyer 2.0 will read some more books and figure out how to keep things calm before they are exposed. And I'm so glad someone finally put Jack in his place. Sawyer, er LaFleur, gave it to him good and Jack just stood there and took it in his little workman jumper.

OK, here's something that I noticed last night... and it seems to be causing a buzz with Lost fans this morning. Did you see the figure moving behind Christian in the burnt out Othersville? After Sun and Lapidus follow Christian inside and what looks like the smoke monster follows them through the door, you can see a figure standing behind Sun:

Is this supposed to be Claire? I know she's hangin' with her dad (my theory is she died in the explosion and is really dead now, just like Christian and Locke). Here's an enhanced photo:

It's not Claire. Is that a stage hand caught watching the show on a monitor? Or is it a Claire stand-in so they didn't have to pay the actress to be there on shooting day just to hover in the dark? Another Lost mystery... for now.

Creepy kid Ben is back. And unfortunately the actor seems to have gone through puberty. I guess we'll have to suspend some disbelief like we did with Walt and assume that Ben isn't rapidly aging or anything like that. Did he come on the same sub as Jack, Kate and Hurley supposedly did? Because he was so familiar with the guard, it looks as if he's been on the island for a while. I wonder if he's interacted with Sawyer, er LaFleur, and Juliette at all?

Gotta cut things short, the show is starting now... as usual, leave your comments below and we'll discuss this more.

Dora's all grown up... and slutty!

Parents are outraged at Nickelodeon this morning. They unveiled a new "tween" version of Dora The Explorer (translation: "slutty"). She doesn't look like a cute little lesbian anymore. Now, Dora actually looks like she may have fallen off of the Rock Of Love bus. Check out the photos for yourself and tell us what you think:

Now Joe Jonas hates Asians

Remember a few months ago when Miley Cyrus was making fun of Asians? Well, it looks like Joe Jonas from The Jonas Brothers thinks its funny to make squinty eyes for the camera too. This photo was making it's way all around the internet yesterday. What's up with these Disney kids? Why do they hate Asians so much?????

Snake swallows dog

This snake swallowed a dog. Collar and all.

That's one hungry sunnamabitch. Link.

Listener submission: Huge Sausage

I'll be honest, I was a little nervous opening up an email with the subject "Huge Sausage". Luckily this is what I got:



Boris,

this is the world's largest sausage. It's 6,643 feet and was made in Serbia. Looks tasty, doesn't it?

-Jason

Live posting: St. Pat's Day

Brandi and I are hanging with Simon at Shadows today. Come down and
join us for some corned beef and cabbage!

Happy St. Patrick's Day

In honor of St. Pat's I'm re-posting one of my favorite videos ever. Enjoy!

Hey, I saw your mom on spring break!

Tiger Woods stars in Caddyshack?

Tiger does a pretty good Bill Murray in this Caddy Shack spoof... WAY better than the one Dan Aykroyd did in Caddy Shack II.

Resignation written on a sheet cake

I once had someone resign here at the radio station by writing and producing a fake commercial. I was asked by this person to give the commercial a listen, but I was busy so I just pretended to listen while doing work at my desk. When I looked up and saw the person standing there with a stupid look on their face I realized that I probably should have paid more attention to the commercial. I had to pretend to understand what was going and then listen to the fake commercial again after the guy left my office. My advice to you - just quit like a real man. Although I probably wouldn't have minded as much if he resigned like this guy did.

Pete Wentz drinks his own pee

I can't believe this dude reproduced. Poor Bronx Mowgli. You thought your dad was embarrassing? Hey, at least he doesn't drink his own urine or sing Fall Out Boy songs.

**Before watching, be warned that this video contains explicit language and pee drinking - NSFW**

My new favorite website

Picture Is Unrelated is a collection of amazing photographs that were taken during some very specific circumstances. The photos only make sense to those who took them, but that doesn't mean we can't enjoy them too. Seriously, take the time today to look at each picture and truly digest what you are seeing. Link

Hulk Hogan erupts in court

This video was all over the place this weekend. Hulk Hogan goes off on his wife's attorney as he is giving a press conference about their divorce settlement. I say they all head over to Piper's Pit and settle things there.

Guy's cabinet door sounds like Chewbacca!

I once had a garbage can that sounded like a sheep when the lid closed, but this is just awesome! If I were this guy, I would store my Star Wars DVD, Laser Disc and VHS collection in this cabinet.

Fatty-Fat Friday!

Due to popular demand, Fatty-Fat Friday is back... and here to stay! Here's this week's photos:

(Thanks to listeners April and Doug!)

Hoola Hoop Kid

This 14 year old kid will never have any friends, a date to the prom, a spot on the football team or a chance of ever living down this video. But none of that matters, because he sure can rock that hoola hoop! I've actually tried to do this (on Wii Fit) and it usually ends with lots of cramping and a broken coffee table.

(On a personal note, If I went to that school I probably would have dated the girl in the audience yelling wooo! sarcastically).

80's Synth Mix

Now this is music! I love the cutaway shots of the keyboards. I think those shots were added in post production to cover the moments when the guys accidently brushed up against each others' junk trying to hit middle-C. Nevertheless, awesome job!

Back to the drawing board, scientists!

Sooooo... that whole thing about dinosaurs being extinct way before man lived on earth? That may not be exactly accurate. Check out this carving found on the Ta Prohm Temple built in 1186, located in what is now the Cambodian jungle. Looks like a freakin' dinosaur to me!

Explain that one, science man!

Ricky Gervais Sesame Street outtakes!

Ricky Gervais proves once again that he is one of the funniest men on earth. Who else could say necrophilia and Holocaust to Elmo and make him laugh?

What will your tombstone say?

Sir Jeffery led an... interesting life.

Woman gives birth to a block of cheese

Just read the story...

"A pregnant woman rushed to the hospital to give birth shocked doctors and staff when it was revealed that what she had passed off as a fetus for months was in fact a large block of cheese. Neighbors, assuming that she was in labor, took her to an emergency room where doctors uncovered a sodden and moldy mass of what they later determined to be several bricks of cheddar cheese bound together with twine."Beyond weird," remarked the doctor. "I don't know how one would do it, but it must take an unworldly level of self deception to even conceive of something like this." Link

I will not be commenting on this one. You're welcome.

Man with a fake-looking real beard

This guy is a Muslim police officer. He claims that he was forced out of his job by colleagues who made fun of his beard. Now, why would they do that?

Full story

My friend, Caleb!

This is Caleb, my 1,000th Facebook friend! As promised, Caleb is now officially my real-life friend. I'm just starting to get to know Caleb, so all I can really tell you about him is that he's married, he enjoys concerts and tattoos, he's trying to get his motorcycle license, he like Battlestar Galactica and the Evil Dead movies and he listens to WRRV.

Thanks to everyone who friend-requested me... even though you weren't #1000, I'm still looking forward to spending time with you in cyber world. So message me and we'll hang!

Someone farts during city council meeting

My email box was flooded with this video yesterday. I'm still not sure if someone really farted during this meeting, or if it was one of those fart applications for the iPhone. Either way, the Mayor did a great job of not completely losing it.

The Sham-Wow Song

Two guys who have watched every episode of "Flight Of The Conchords" sing a song about the fantastic Sham-Wow dude:

Michelle Obama's slutty prom dress

This year, every young girl that wants to wear a super-low cut prom dress with a slit running all the way up to Bangor, Maine will have some help. Now parents will be supplied with evidence that dressing slutty doesn't necessarily mean you're doomed to a life of working at Hooters.

Exhibit A: Michelle Obama's prom dress. Aye-Chihuahua! She's lucky that wicker chair didn't burst into flames!

5 cats that look like Wilford Brimley

For your enjoyment: 5 cats that look like Wilford Brimley

Coincidentally, they all get their Diabetes supplies from Liberty Medical too. They'll help you live a better life, dammit.