Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Whoopie Goldberg pees her pants

What is going on with Whoopie Goldberg? Seems like she's been using her time away from The View to film some awkward public service announcements about women peeing in their pants. Really! The videos aren't very funny and poorly acted with some strange accents. Apparently she's trying to sell some sort of pee pad for women to wear so they don't wet themselves when they sneeze. According to her, 1 in 3 women pee themselves all the time. Is this actually true? Can any women clear this up for me? And would you buy a pad like this?

Here's one of the weird videos. The rest are available on 1in3likeme.com.

Roger Ebert's new computer voice

We talked about this on the air yesterday... Roger Ebert lost his jaw to cancer, so he's been using a computer to speak to people much like Stephen Hawking. However, computer programmers were able to lift Ebert's actual voice off of hours of his show and commentary on DVDs. The result was debuted on Oprah yesterday. Pretty cool!

Jon Gosselin's teeny weenie

Yesterday, Hailey Glassman posted a photo of what she seems to be claiming is Jon Gosselin's Penis.

In addition to the photo, Hailey continued her tirade against her former lover with these gems:

•This man has Hurt,Cheated,Lied and stole from EVERYONE including HIS OWN FAMILY! He's single-handedly ruined+hurt so many women/lives

•This is Karma. FYI don't F*ck with fire if you don't want to get Burned, and don't mess with the bull if you don't want the horns

•Question to everyone-If you lent ur ex 200,000 due to him manipulating u and using his children to get it from u as ur soft spot

•Promising to pay it back. Would u walk away from it and let him get away with all your money? I DON"T THINK SO twitterworld!

Here's a warning. DON'T put that Twitpic URL into your browser! You can't unsee that teeny little weenie no matter how hard you try. Use the censored photo below to see just how teeny Jon allegedly is:

Lost: Don't wanna know what Sayid was doing with that photo

With only 10 hours of Lost left, I've decided to take everything at face value. This may be naive, I know. But if they're setting up for a "Smoke Monster is good, Jacob is bad" switcheroo and can pull that off along side with everything else that needs to be resolved, I'll be impressed. For now, I would like to think that we are actually getting answers instead of more misdirection, so I'm going with the obvious: Jacob is good, Smoke Monster is bad. Does that mean I'm on "team Jacob?"

So which side is Sayid truly on: good or evil? This week we got the answer. According to Dogan, everyone has good and evil inside of them, but one side will always tip the scale. In the real timeline, Sayid has always struggled with his evil side. Torturing Sawyer on the beach, torturing Ben in the hatch, killing for Ben back home... He's a killing machine, and even though his good side struggles to keep it at bay, evil tends to win out every time. As we know, in the real timeline Jacob "pushed" Sayid. Did Sayid truly make these decisions to be evil on his own, or was it part of Jacob's plan to get him to do what he needed to do?

The answer, sadly, comes in the alternate reality. Sayid is trying to be a good man; he gives up the love of his life (to his brother!) because he doesn't believe he is worthy of her. He is trying to let good win out by following a straight and narrow path. He's in a boring, but responsible job; He's a caring uncle and he tries to resist using violence to solve his brother's problems with the mob. That evil is bubbling under the surface, however... and even without Jacob's "push" Sayid finds himself in a situation where, when given the option, he kills a man (Keamy!) even after getting what he wanted.

Back to the real life timeline... Sayid declares to Dogan that he is not evil, regardless of what the evil-o-meter shock machine says. Dogan knows the truth, so sends him out for a final "test" to kill the Smoke Monster. This test is similar to the tests given to suspected witches in Salem: Dunk 'em in a tank, if they drown they're not a witch. If Sayid is truly good, the Smoke Monster will kill him. If he is evil, he will live and do the Monster's bidding. Bad gamble by Dogan: Surprise! He was right, Sayid is evil and now recruited by the Smoke Monster's team. Bye bye Dogan and your weird John Lennon friend.

Who else is on the Fightin' Smokeys? Claire and Sawyer made the choice to follow him. Sayid's evil grin pretty much makes him the MVP at this point... but what about Kate? What happened down at the pit? Did Claire have time to recruit her to the team, or did they just high tail it out of there? I'm thinking Kate is still on the fence, and is following behind because she has nowhere else to go. Can't wait until Crazy Claire has time to confront her about Aaron! And what about Jin? He's there somewhere... looks like we will find out more about his path (and why he was in the freezer - can't stay out of the mob even in the Jacob-free world?) in the coming weeks.

Theory time: What if the alternate reality flashes are showing us who is truly good and who is truly evil. We are seeing what their lives are like without Jacob's influence. Those who are making good decisions without being "pushed" are truly good. Those who are evil, are truly evil. Kate looks like a good-guy at this point... looking at herself in the mirror at the mechanic's she saw the good person inside and decided she couldn't take Claire's bag and abandon her in LA.

Observations and questions:

Keamy is an a-hole even without Jacob's push. In the alternate reality, he's a loan shark mob boss. In the real reality, he was a soldier of fortune working for Widmore that eventually killed Alex.

Yep, that was Jack walking down the hall in the hospital.

Where is Richard during all of this?

Jin doesn't speak English and is still involved with the mob in the alternate reality. Doesn't look good for him not being on Team Smokey at this point.

The preview makes you think that Ben is a goner... but come on, this is Lost! "The man who has caused so many deaths will meet his demise" can mean many things. Don't you think if they were going to kill off Ben they would make it a surprise? Guess we'll have to wait until next week to find out.


Your thoughts?