Friday, January 9, 2009

Wear dark pants if you're on Alli

Have you seen the weight loss drug "Alli" at the counter in the drug store? Like me, you may have been curious about how it works. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of going to the Alli website to find out. This stuff does something to your body to stop the absorption of fat. You may ask "Well, what happens when you eat fat?" Good question! Here's what the website says:
The excess fat that passes out of your body is not harmful. In fact, you may recognize it as something that looks like the oil on top of a pizza.
Wow, this stuff works great... I haven't even taken it yet and, already, I don't ever want to eat pizza again!

Alli calls the side effects from their drug "treatment effects". Here are the three main "treatment effects" you can look forward to:

- gas with oily spotting
- loose stools
- more frequent stools that may be hard to control

Sign me up now!

If these horrible "treatment effects" don't scare you away, the Alli website has a whole list of helpful tips for avoiding an embarrassing situation. This one is my favorite:
You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work
I'm sorry, wearing dark pants to hide my poop splatter isn't worth sneaking a jelly donut for breakfast. People are pretty desperate to lose weight, but this is just demoralizing. If you really want to finally get yourself healthy - the right way - sign up for the WRRV Fit Club!

Worst celebrity baby name yet

Lisa Bonet and Jason Momoa (who you probably don't know from the TV show Stargate) just had a baby. Here's the kid's name:

Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa

Good luck finding a personalized license plate for your bike, kid!