I want you to be my 1000th Facebook friend!

I noticed this week that I'm closing in on 900 Facebook friends. Not bad for only having a profile since January! I must say my friendship with all of you has been great. All those photos we've tagged together, those pokes, superpokes... and how can I forget about your generous gifts of green beer and mafia wars requests! Good times!

I'd love to bring our friendship to the next level, but I know that it's just not possible to do for everyone. So I have decided that the listener who becomes my 1,000th Facebook friend will automatically be upgraded to real-life friend. Yep, that's right. We can drive each other to the airport, help lug trash to the dump and gossip about our other 999 facebook Friends. I even thought it would be fun to have my new friend sit in on the show in the morning so we can have some extra special time to bond and beome real-life BFF's.

So here's the rules:
1) The 1,000th person to become my Facebook friend will be my real-life friend. You'll come into the studio and hang during the show.

2) You CAN'T un-friend me and then re-friend me. Anyone who is currently my Facebook friend is not eligible, sorry.

3) If you win, you must be on my side forever more... because that's what friends are for!

So good luck, jump over to Facebook and friend me, dammit!

Listener submission: Don't Underage Drink

Boris,
This poster is great, and you should post it on the site to show kids they shouldn't drink. Because if they underage drink they'll never enjoy a world filled with dogs, soda, flatscreen TV's, Van Helsing and lots and lots of pizza!

-Charles in Ellenville

Britney's back from being back again.

Britney Spears is going out on the road, which I think is the perfect place for a mentally unstable woman with 2 kids. Now, I wouldn't normally post a Britney Spears video - but this rehearsal for her tour is pretty interesting. 1) she's looking pretty good again. 2) she's dressed as an olde tyme lion tamer. 3) forward to 1:12... two words: nipple tassels!

Too bad all of her fans have moved on to Miley Cyrus and no one will see the tour.

Hey, where'd you get that graphic?

Someone at the news was probably lazy and got a Krispy Kreme logo from Google Image Search. Oops!

Happy Square Root Day, Nerds!

Today is March 3rd, 2009 or Square Root Day!

Get it, 3/3/09? For math nerds, today is a pretty big deal. People are actually throwing parties all over the world. I read one report where a group of math fanatics are getting together today and serving root vegetables to each other in the shape of squares. Math-larious! Really, were you expecting them to each drink 3 beers, 3 shots and do 3 bong hits? Perhaps Val Kilmer would have done that in Real Genius, and then he would have frozen the hallway with liquid nitrogen so everyone could have an ice skating party... but cool nerds like that only exist in crapppy 80's movies.

Square Root Day occurs only nine times in a century. The last one occurred on 2/2/04, and the next one is in seven years on 4/4/16... so party on, dudes!

Is that porn or real? Better attack just incase!

Bret was watching porn alone in his apartment when suddenly some dude busts down the door holding his long sword... no, it's not the plot of a porn movie. This really happened! The neighbor heard Bret's porn and thought someone was being raped next door so he came ready to do battle with his three foot sword. I guess it's an honest mistake, right?!? Will this stop Bret from watching porn in the future? "No way! I'm just gonna watch it with the sound down or I'll buy myself some decent headphones." Attaboy, Bret! Don't let the terrorists win!

American Idol contestant shocker?

If you're surprised to find out that broadway singer contestant Adam Lambert on American Idol is gay... you're probably my Aunt, who is still recovering from the news that Rosie O'Donnell is gay. Anyway, it's always fun when embarrassing photos of contestants leak; and these are pretty embarrassing. Not necessarially because of the man on man tongue, but because of those dreadful fashion decisions. I mean who wears a hat with a red and green flower and a vest shirt with a white carnation on it? And those, sunglasses! Puh-leeze! (source)

At least the photos aren't as embarrasing as how he butchered a perfectly good Stones song: