Risky Business FAIL

These two hot chicks had a great idea... but probably should have used a little less Murphy's Oil.

Jon Gosselin... funny? Who knew?

Yeah, everyone hates this douche... but the ability to make fun of yourself is high on my list of admirable qualities. I'm so conflicted!

Woman who's face got chewed off by chimp on Oprah

Remember Charla Nash? She's the woman who's face got chewed off by that crazy monkey. She decided to reveal her disfigured face on Oprah yesterday... I don't think you're ready to see this:

Metallagher!

What do you get when you cross a Metallica tribute band with a prop comic that smashes watermellons? Metallagher! I've never been more inspired to buy a raincoat and hop a flight to Texas.

Finally, a reason to watch MTV again

Born and raised in New Jersey, I spent a good portion of my life at the Jersey Shore. I can't wait for this beautifully crafted documentary:

Woman with two vaginas

The doublemint twins have nothing on this chick.

Woman falls on subway track and barely misses train

Thank goodness this happened in Boston, where they have those tiny little Mr. Rodgers trains. If this was in NYC the drunkard would have been mashed potatoes.