Listener submission: Pee Kneeler

A few years ago, I revealed on the air that I kneel down when I pee at my house. I started kneeling after seeing a story that showed just how far urine travels in the bathroom as it splashes out of the toilet. Kneeling prevents the splashing and keeps my toothbrush urine free. Luckily, I have a toilet that is shorter, and is the perfect height for kneeling... but what if you have a taller toilet? Presenting the Pee Kneeler! Thanks to Obsessive Rob for sending this link (and for remembering my humiliation as listeners belittled me for kneeling and peeing). Hey, they came up with a device to help pee kneeling people everywhere, so I can't be the only one that does it! Link

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Lost: Juliette go boom

Those of you who have been reading my Lost wrap-up each week know that I'm pretty geeky over this show. So it should be no surprise that I gathered together my fellow Lost geeks for a party to celebrate the finale last night, complete with Dharma dogs, Sayid Salad and a 4-toed statue cake. I'm really glad I watched the finale with a crowd, because we had a blast playing "Where in the world is Jacob":

Ok, toy airplane... Patsy Cline music... Kate! ding ding ding. Funeral scene... kid sitting by himself... must be Sawyer! ding ding ding. Jacob on a bench... by himself. Uhhhh.... Desmond? Buzzzzzzz. Thud goes the body... Locke!

I loved the Jacob flashbacks. We found out how Hurley got on the 2nd plane, and what he's doing carrying around that guitar case. We also found out that Jack is a lying jerk that isn't that brave at all. He told that story to Kate about the girl's spinal surgery to get laid. Who would have thought his daddy was the one that made him count to five and gave him the courage to finish the surgery?

So we first meet Jacob hanging out with his mysterious friend on the island. They're waiting for, what I assume is, The Black Rock to come ashore. So what's the deal with these guys? Well, one is dressed in white, the other in black. This goes back to Locke's backgammon game on the beach with Walt. There are two sides... one is light and one is dark. This is a theme that has been running throughout the series. Remember the dead bodies found in the cave with the white and black stones? So, is the dude in black evil and Jacob is good? Why is this guy looking for some loophole to try and kill Jacob? I think that everyone assumed Jacob lived in the cabin, but it was actually the other dude. Perhaps Jacob banished him there and surrounded him with ash so he wouldn't figure out that loophole and kill him.

What lies in the shadow of the statue? "Nomum Blabum Blablahorum", of course. Does anyone speak Latin? I took 3 years in high school and all I can say is farmer (agricola). Ricardus speaks Latin, of course... all of the others do! I had to use the internet (Mrs. Robinson, my Latin teacher , I am sorry) and the rough translation is: "He who protects us." I assume they are talking about Jacob.

So it was Locke in the box that Jacob's buddies were carrying all this time? Did anyone see that one coming? As the camera peered over the side of the open box I thought to myself "Hey, this is just like the final scene last season, where the camera peered over the side of the casket and Locke was insi... Whaaaa?" So Locke is dead, and the dude in black is pretending to be Locke. Does that mean that Christian Shepard is also that dude? The man in black jumps into whatever dead body he can find? So why was Claire and Christian hanging together? Sorry, way too many questions that there's just no answer to yet.

Random observations:
Rose and Bernard rock. Juliette has some boobies on her. Now we know how Dr. Candle / Waxman lost his hand. Jack has a mean left hook. Jacob didn't kill Nadia, he saved Sayid. The statue is a crocodile? People I was watching with think Juliette is pregnant because she was holding her tummy while talking to Bernard. In the first scene Jacob was eating... a red herring!

So, did setting off the nuke work? We don't really have any proof of that. When shown the photo of Jack and company in the Dharma Initiative, Richard Alpert said that he knew them... and he saw them die. If Richard was there for the explosion we could assume since he survived, so did the rest of the gang. Unfortunately, Richard dragged Ellie away to the underground bunker way before the nuke went off, so the fact that he's alive doesn't prove squat. Here's what I Twittered right before the show started last night:

Making my Lost finale prediction now: Last scene will be Oceanic 815 landing safely at LAX.

I still think that would have been a great ending... I'm still holding out that my prediction will be the first scene next season. How cool would it be if the lost gang lands, not knowing each other. The island will course correct, and they will eventually all meet and somehow get back... and when they finally crash again, they will be thrown back to the very first season of the episode to do it all over again... Ok, maybe not.

I guess I'll be going to bed early on Wednesdays now until Big Brother starts up. See ya!

Watch out, IMAX may not be IMAX

When you hear IMAX what do you think? I imagine a screen so big that I can only focus on Captain Kirk's left eyeball and I wind up missing the rest of the movie. Unfortunately, IMAX is now whoring out their name to regular sized screens too. Isn't an IMAX movie on a small screen just called a movie? Well, Aziz Ansari uncovered the whole scandal and isn't taking it lightly. Link.

You're welcome, environment

Last week I was talking about my dependency on water bottles. I'm too lazy buy a re-usable bottle, so I grab a new Poland Spring bottle each day, re-fill it every few hours and then send it off to the giant water bottle landfill somewhere in New Jersey. Well, the response from the WRRV listeners was pretty crazy. People think I'm "killing the children" and "an ego centric non celebrity who needs to set an example to give (my) life some sort of meaning". Add all of that to the constant looks of disgust from Brandi each time I take a sip of water and it still wasn't enough to ween me off of my Poland Spring... until now.

My neighbor, who no doubt cries each week while watching me haul a huge recycle bin of water bottles out to the curb, came over to the house yesterday with a gift:

Presenting my new water bottle! It's dishwasher safe so I don't have to scrub it out each night and has a nice flip top so I can keep it in the studio without having to worry about knocking it over and electrocuting myself. I'll keep you posted on how it works out... in the meantime, stop sending me emails and go throw blood on the Olsen twins or something.

Farewell fanny pack, hello Cap-sac!

Too cool to wear a fanny pack? Well let me introduce you to the Cap-sac!

Order one now, before heading out to Bonnaroo! This will surely be the accessory of the summer.

Website

2 gross celebrities and one almost nipple

I'm not big on celebrity news, but while preparing for the show each morning I need to peruse the celeb sites in search of the next Christian Bale meltdown. This morning I came across 3 strange and wonderful photos that I thought you'd be interested in. Note: these are ACTUAL pictures, and are not photoshopped in any way.

#1 - Remember Natalie Maines? She's the angry one from the Dixie Chicks who is always yelling at people on TV. Well, apparently she is angry because of all of that testosterone flowing around in her body. Yep, she's now a dude:

#2 - Kelly Clarkson is slowly morphing into Meatloaf. Or she's eating way too much Meatloaf... Something to do with Meatloaf, for sure:

#3 - Is that almost Natalie Portman's nipple? Just thinking out loud... sorry.