News for non-gay males

If you're a heterosexual male (or just a fan of the Amazing Race) you probably missed the Oscars last night. Here's the full list of winners and a bunch of pictures of Oscar gowns so you can hold a conversation with your co-workers today.

Man buys coffin and decides to wear it home

I don't know how Brandi and I missed this story last week! Some guy walked into a funeral home, bought a coffin, jumped in and shot himself. Fortunately, he lived... but he's now stuck with a coffin because I'm sure they're not going to accept a return. Link.

World's shortest escalator

Is this really necessary? I mean, it's 5 steps! Wouldn't a ramp have been a better option?

Rihanna's bruises

Harvey Levin and the heroes over at TMZ have obtained a photo the cops took of Rihanna after she was allegedly beat by Chris Brown on Grammy night.

The LAPD isn't too happy about the leak, and have begun an internal investigation.

Link

Move over ABBA, it's a new supergroup!

Hanson

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Cheap Trick

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Smashing Pumpkins

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Fountains of Wayne

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This

Super Colon

If you're heading to Florida, skip Disney World (You don't want to bump into The Cruise's anyway) and bring the family straight to Tampa so you can visit the world's largest colon (complete with giant polyps)!

Or, for those of you on a budget this year, just stand in front of John Goodman's house in the morning and wait for him to bend over and pick up the newspaper. Same thing.

Abby Road - A Day In The Life

It would suck to live on Abby Road. Almost killing tourists on my way to work every morning doesn't sound like a fun way to commute. Someone set up a time-lapse camera on a random day to see how many idiots pose like the Beatles. Spoiler alert - lots of them did.