Tiger Woods voicemails released

Here it comes... Us Magazine has started to release the voicemails Tiger left for his alleged girlfriend #2, Jaimee Grubbs. Here he is asking her to take the name off of her greeting because Tiger's wife has his cell and may call her to find out who she is. Awesome.


I removed the embedded audio because Us Magazine are jerks who automatically stream commercials. Click here for the voicemail.

Corduroy skirts are a sin!

This guy was upset that crazy lady with the sign was protesting on his campus, so he decided to exercise his own 1st ammendment rights:

How was your flight?

For those of you who have called me up to disagree about the rule for overweight passengers to buy two seats on an airplane... how would you like to be stuck next to this guy for 8 hours?

This photo was actually snapped by an American Airlines flight attendant who was pissed that Fatty McYumYum was allowed to buy just one seat.

Uh oh... Jared is fat again

It looks like someone is taking advantage of those $5 Foot Longs. Subway, quick, raise the price before Jared explodes!

3D animation shows Tiger Woods getting ass kicked

In China the news of Tiger Woods' crash and possible ass-whooping by his wife is big news. Remember, Tiger is part Chinese and he's got a huge following throughout the country. He's so popular, in fact, that the nightly news produced a computer reenactment of the whole thing. This is worth watching all the way through:

Someone put a dissolving bikini spell on Hermione

Emma Watson caught on the beach this weekend:

(You'll have to use Google to find the original photo, we don't show nipples.)

The Bart Simpson blackboard archive

Finally, someone has decided to preserve all of Bart's punishments from the opening sequence of The Simpsons on one website. They're only up to season 6 right so far, but they're adding to it every day. Click here to see them all.