Hail to the Chia!

I'm so confused. I don't know how to feel about the new Obama Chia Pet. Is this is patriotic, racist, awesome or just stupid? I guess I'll have to buy 38 of them and figure it out for myself.

Drunk teacher dances for students

A teacher in Florida showed up to her middle school classroom drunk off her ass. Unfortunately, it was the not-so-hot teacher on the left. She "grinded" against the students, pulled down her pants and was later found passed out at the local pool. Students were told by administrators to delete videos on their phones of the event. Luckily, they didn't:

PETA kills animals too? There's no hope for fluffy.

WTF! A report was just released that claims PETA has killed 95% of the animals in their care that were eligible for adoption. According to the Virginia Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services, PETA killed 2,124 pets last year and placed only seven in adoptive homes.

Apparently,PETA's too busy throwing blood at Olsen twins to help find homes for fluffy.

Legless Rapper

This is Half Price, the legless rapper. He's kid of like Kid Rock. If Kid Rock wasn't a very good rapper and had no legs.

**Over 18 only - The video contains lots of F-words, drug use and legless dancing. Don't watch it at work (or watch it at work with the sound down).**

Video of the week

It's only Monday, but this is the video of the week for sure:

Madonna without Photoshop is scary

This is supposedly a before-and-after of a recent Madonna photo shoot. The photo on the right is what happens when someone sits down with a picture of a wrinkly old lady and uses Photoshop to smooth out all of the lines. The photo on the left is a wrinkly old lady:

Another hero falls: ShamWow guy.

Did you know that the ShamWow guy's real name is Vince Shlomi? Well, when Vince isn't selling super-absorbant towels, he enjoys a good hooker. Unfortunately, he picked the wrong prostitute. According to the police report, the hooker bit down on Vince's tongue and wouldn't let go, so he punched her several times (using moves he probably perfected while demonstrating the "Slap Chop"). Eventually his tongue was released, but he was left bloody and bruised. Good thing those ShamWows can clean up any liquid!

Here's the full story from the Smoking Gun.

And for your viewing pleasure, the ShamWow informercial in Espanol. How do you say "These things don't really absorb 2 liters of soda, I want my money back!" in Spanish?: